i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
