So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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