When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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