im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
