Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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