It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
