He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
