I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
