I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
