Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
