I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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