woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
