when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
