Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
my liver is dry heaving
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
