you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
