I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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