he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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