I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
