Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
