please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
