my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
