is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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