I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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