puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
