so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
