i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Rumble strips road head = magical
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
