i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
