i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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