My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
