the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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