I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
