I'd wear matching sweaters with you
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
