I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
