She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
