ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Text me some of your sweat
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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