I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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