is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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