he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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