Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
