....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
