Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
