They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Every concussion has its silver lining
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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