I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
