I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
