i just google imaged poop.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
