Define "chronic" masturbator.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
