You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
