That's when you crack a 10am beer
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
