u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
