Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
