real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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