i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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