its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
