youre lurking in front of me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
