Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
