I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
